There’s a distinct and unsettling shift that happens when someone you’re connecting with starts to pull away. The texts become less frequent, the enthusiasm wanes, and you’re left in a state of limbo, wondering what changed. If you’ve consulted the tarot cards for clarity on this emotional distance and pulled the Three of Wands, you’re being given a message of perspective and patience. This card is not about endings or conflict; it’s about looking toward the future, expansion, and waiting for your ships to come in.
When the Three of Wands appears in a reading about him pulling away, it means he has shifted his focus toward his long-term future and is assessing how everything—including your connection—fits into it. This withdrawal isn’t necessarily a rejection of you, but rather a temporary retreat into his own world of planning and ambition. He is standing on a hill, looking out at the horizon, contemplating his next move. The card advises you to adopt a similar perspective: zoom out, be patient, and focus on your own journey while you wait for things to develop.
Table of Contents
- What Does the Three of Wands Signify in a Reading?
- Upright Three of Wands Meaning When He Pulls Away
- Reversed Three of Wands Meaning When He Pulls Away
- Decoding the Symbolism of the Three of Wands
- Is He Planning a Future With or Without You?
- The Three of Wands as a Call for Patience
- How to Respond When He Pulls Away with This Energy
- Three of Wands and the Difference Between Space and Ghosting
- Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
- Conclusion
What Does the Three of Wands Signify in a Reading?
The Three of Wands is one of the most forward-looking cards in the tarot deck. As part of the Wands suit, it’s connected to the element of Fire, which governs passion, energy, ambition, and growth. Following the initial spark of an idea in the Ace and the planning in the Two, the Three represents the moment you send your plans out into the world and eagerly await the results. I often see it as the card of the visionary entrepreneur who has launched their product and is now watching for the first signs of success. In relationships, it signifies progress, looking toward a shared future, and expanding your horizons together. It’s about taking a chance and having the foresight to see its potential.
To better understand the emotional undertones of this card, you can explore the Three of Wands as feelings, which often points to optimism and anticipation.
Upright Three of Wands Meaning When He Pulls Away
When an upright Three of Wands appears to explain his emotional distance, it’s a strong indicator that he has entered a phase of personal expansion and long-term planning. His energy is not directed away from you in a negative sense, but rather toward his own horizon. He might be intensely focused on his career, a big project, a potential move, or financial goals. He is standing on a precipice, looking at the “big picture” of his life, and his current withdrawal is a need for space to gain clarity on these future plans. He sees potential in the connection with you—the ships on the water can symbolize you both—but he needs to ensure the seas are calm and the destination is clear before he can fully invest. The message for you is to be patient and trust the process. He is not gone; he is just watching and waiting.
Reversed Three of Wands Meaning When He Pulls Away
A reversed Three of Wands tells a different story. The optimistic, forward-moving energy of the upright card is now blocked or frustrated. His pulling away likely stems from a feeling of being stuck or a fear of moving forward. He may have had big plans, either for his life or for the two of you, but they have been delayed or have fallen through, leaving him feeling disappointed and directionless. He might be pulling away because he feels he has nothing to offer you right now or is ashamed of his lack of progress. This reversal can also indicate a fear of commitment or an unwillingness to leave his comfort zone. Instead of looking out at the horizon with hope, he is turning his back on it, retreating because the future feels too uncertain or overwhelming. His silence is a result of his own internal setbacks.
Decoding the Symbolism of the Three of Wands
The imagery in the Three of Wands is key to its meaning. A figure, often believed to be a merchant, stands on a cliff or hill with his back to us, looking out over a vast expanse of water. He holds one wand and is flanked by two others, which are firmly planted in the ground, representing a stable foundation. Far below, ships sail across the water, symbolizing commerce, adventure, and the manifestation of his plans. His posture is one of confident expectation. He has done the work and now watches for the results to arrive. When he pulls away, he is this figure. He has turned his back on immediate concerns to focus on the distant ships—his goals, his ambitions, his future. The stability of the wands suggests his retreat is from a secure place, not a chaotic one.
Is He Planning a Future With or Without You?
This is the crucial question this card raises. The Three of Wands is fundamentally about partnership and progress. The ships often represent ventures that involve others. In an upright position, it’s very likely he is considering a future that includes you. He is pulling away to figure out the logistics and to make sure he is ready for that next step. He may be trying to get his career or finances in order before he can offer you the stability he believes you deserve. However, the card itself is not a guarantee. It shows he is in a planning phase. The reversed Three of Wands, on the other hand, suggests he is actively avoiding planning a future. The fear of the unknown or of failure is causing him to retreat from long-term potential, both in his life and with you.
The Three of Wands as a Call for Patience
There is no getting around it: the Three of Wands is a “waiting game” card. It demands patience from you. The figure on the card is not chasing after the ships; he is standing still, watching them come toward him. This is a powerful lesson. Your urge may be to text him, to ask what’s wrong, to close the distance he has created. But this card advises against that. Chasing him would disrupt his process and signal a lack of trust in the connection’s potential. Your best course of action is to mirror his energy. Stand on your own cliff, focus on your own horizon, and work on your own goals. Let him see that you have your own ships to watch. This confident patience is far more attractive than anxious pursuit.
How to Respond When He Pulls Away with This Energy
Navigating this situation requires a blend of understanding and self-respect. You need to give him the space he is asking for without losing yourself in the waiting process.
- Focus on Your Own Growth: What are your long-term goals? Use this time to invest in your own “Wands”—your career, your passions, your personal development.
- Live a Full Life: Don’t put your life on hold. Go out with friends, travel, and create your own adventures. Let your life be the exciting journey he wants to be a part of.
- Communicate Openly (When the Time is Right): When he does re-engage, be open. You can say something like, “I’m excited about my own projects right now, but I’m also interested to see where this goes with us.” This shows you’re both independent and invested.
Three of Wands and the Difference Between Space and Ghosting
This card helps you distinguish between someone needing healthy space for growth and someone who is simply ghosting. Ghosting is often sudden, unexplained, and complete. It aligns more with cards of escape or avoidance. The Three of Wands is different. The energy is purposeful. It’s a strategic retreat, not a disappearance. He is pulling away to build something. The very nature of the card—anticipating a return on investment—suggests he intends to re-engage once he has a clearer vision or has achieved a certain goal. It is a “to be continued,” not a “the end.”
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Is the Three of Wands a yes or no?
The Three of Wands is generally a strong “yes,” but with a condition of patience. It means yes, your plans will succeed, but you must wait for them to come to fruition. It’s a green light for the future, not for the immediate moment.
What does the Three of Wands mean in a reconciliation reading?
In a reconciliation reading, the Three of Wands is a very positive sign. It suggests that your ex-partner is looking toward the future and considering a reunion. They are likely weighing the pros and cons, but with an optimistic outlook. It indicates that reconciliation is on the horizon.
Does the Three of Wands mean he will come back?
Yes, the energy of this card strongly implies a return. The entire theme is about waiting for something you’ve sent out to come back to you. When he pulls away under this card’s influence, it is usually temporary. He will likely re-engage once his period of planning and observation is complete.
Conclusion
When a man pulls away and you draw the Three of Wands, take a deep breath. This is not a card of rejection, but one of ambition, foresight, and a necessary pause before expansion. He has turned his gaze toward the horizon, and the tarot is advising you to do the same. This period of distance is an opportunity for both of you to grow independently, so you can come back together on stronger footing. Trust in the journey, focus on your own empire, and have faith that the ships you’ve sent out—both in love and in life—are making their way back to you.